


Dude, I saw your nudes online

by Katryusha



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Crack-ish, I'M NOT DEAD, LMAO, M/M, USUK - Freeform, i guess, idk - Freeform, smol story is smol, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 16:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12891816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katryusha/pseuds/Katryusha
Summary: In which their meeting is a big, big joke.





	Dude, I saw your nudes online

**Author's Note:**

> HEY  
> i don't know how to title  
> i'm sorry  
> i'm not dead yet, and this was an idea i got from a friend of mine cause we were talking about dem soulmate marks and he's an idiot, lmao

When he was a child, his parents always, _always_ avoided talking about the words scribbled across his wrist. No matter how many times he tried to ask what it meant, he was left without an answer. Everyone had rather simple words on their tattoos, so why was his so complicated? Not even his brothers explained to him what it meant, although, they certainly seemed to know as they looked at each other and snickered.

It wasn’t until he got older that he understood what exactly he had written on his wrist since birth.

And how fucking embarrassing it was.

What the bloody hell was his future self doing if the words coming out of his soulmate’s mouth once he met him were those?

Whenever someone asked about his words. He shamefully lied and avoided the issue whenever possible.

The worst was that his brothers knew. _Oh, they knew_. And he was teased relentlessly once he finally understood the terrible words.

He shied away from everyone.

It was simply not possible for him. For Arthur _bloody_ Kirkland to actually take photos in the nude and post them online.

Unless he got completely smashed.

Which was what happened.

He moved to the United States for university. And, he decided, that it was time to start anew. Completely ignoring his mark, that was to be forgotten and he would much rather spend his life by his lone self, perhaps with a cat however.

So, finding himself alone at an entirely new country, it was to be expected that he took one or two bad decisions, life was all about making mistakes sometimes, right? And Arthur always lived life by the rules, so it was time to change it up a bit. What could go wrong?

Many things could go wrong in America.

First things first, the alcohol was shite, but once you drank enough, it stopped mattering if it was good or bad.

He was also a terrible drunk, he discovered, because he must’ve talked about his problems to at least half the strangers at the party. He didn’t know anyone. Nor anyone knew him.

Everyone was absolutely pissed drunk. They started playing truth or dare and Arthur may or may not have lost half his clothes in it since he could barely form coherent sentences, but hey, they were all having fun, so there’s that. He must have lost what had remained of his clothes once they started playing seven minutes in heaven and he was thrown into a closet with another lad, and… the rest was history.

So, it was no surprise when the next morning Arthur woke up completely wasted, vowing to never drink again as he ran to the nearest bathroom to throw up.

“I hate my life…” He cursed as he washed his face. Seeing himself in the mirror he paused. Besides the fact that he looked like a truck had ran over him, he was also naked.

Everyone was still sleeping away and procrastinating on the bloody awful hangover that he already had. As quietly and as gracefully as he could, he picked up whatever pieces of his clothing he could find and made a run for it.

“A night to forget.” He stated as he closed the door behind him. He didn’t feel any pain, so although he was naked, there hadn’t been any business down there. And that was a blessing.

The sun was too bright, why was the sun so bright? Arthur felt like dying as he made his way to his dorm room.

Everything was calm during a week.

He had actually got to know the guy who had had a heavy make out session with him back at the party, he was also a foreign student, they became friends rather quickly.

And then, it happened.

Arthur was on his way to buy groceries when some jogger ran past and then paused, turning around.

The Brit furrowed his brows.

“Dude, I saw your nudes online.” Was the blunt statement said as the American studied him up and down.

Arthur’s brain short circuited. And his mind immediately took him back to the party where he had certainly gotten naked, but he didn’t remember taking any pics— But wait, that phrase sounded awfully familiar...

“Oh God, I want to die.” He covered his face with his hands and heard the other lad almost choke on his breath.

“Y-Y-You—!”

Arthur peeked at him through his fingers, the American’s cheeks had turned a deep red, but nothing that could compare to his own.

“You’re my soulmate!” He shouted, pointing a finger in his direction, Arthur felt like crawling into a hole.

“And you’re an idiot.” The Brit hissed, his anger starting to simmer because here was the bloody guy who had made his childhood a living nightmare because of a few stupid words, “You’re a bloody fucking idiot! Is that any way to start a conversation with a stranger?! Do you know how bloody awful it was to have the words _“Dude, I saw your nudes online”_ written on your wrist since birth?!” He snapped back, the American seemed to shrink into himself a bit, finally feeling self-conscious.

“Hum… Well… I bet that was hella embarrassing and stuff, but not as depressing as me having _“Oh God, I want to die”_ and thinking that your soulmate was suicidal…” The American replied, rubbing the back of his neck. Arthur stared at him. “I’m Alfred, by the way.”

Well, that did sound rather bad… Arthur sighed, “All right, that makes us somewhat even, I guess. I’m Arthur.” Honestly, now he didn’t know which one was the worst off. But at least, now that was finally over.

The Brit looked down at his wrist and saw the black words starting to fade away, and then there were hands on his shoulders.

“You’re not, though, are you?!” Alfred asked with urgency. It took Arthur a while to understand what he meant with that question.

“No, I’m not suicidal, you idiot. Would it hurt if you stopped to think before saying something?” Arthur asked back, because really, this guy didn’t have a filter for his mouth.

Alfred wheezed out a laugh, “Oh man, sorry, but, like, do you know how concerned I was for you?! Jesus… I spent my life getting ready to be a total badass hero in order to save you!”

Arthur looked Alfred up and down and nodded, he could very well see that Alfred had been getting ready to save someone if those muscles were anything to go by. He couldn’t help but cringe at his grammar however. _Americans._

“I’m sure. Now, backtracking a little… What do you mean you saw my bloody nudes online?!” Because Arthur was going to have the head of the person who posted those images.

“Oh, right, that.” Alfred seemed to become serious now, “They were on the Instagram story of this one guy. It’s probably all gone now. It was easy to recognize you by the short, messy blond hair…” He explained, eyes trailing downwards, “And that ass.”

Arthur’s cheeks turned a deep red and he scowled, “H-How dare you!”

Alfred laughed, obnoxiously might Arthur add, just so he could add one more flaw to the American.

“I didn’t expect to find my soulmate during my morning jog, but then again, I didn’t expect to have seen you naked before even meeting you. Also, from now on please refrain from getting drunk unless I’m there to watch over you.” If possible, Arthur’s cheeks burnt in shame, and he was tempted to punch the idiot across the face to wipe out that stupid smirk.

“Sod off. I’m going shopping.” Arthur grumbled, moving past him, unfortunately, the American followed right after.

“Sounds good. Are you from England, by the way?” Alfred inquired, walking right beside him with a slight jump in his step.

Arthur sighed, but he couldn’t stop the bubbly feeling in his stomach as Alfred kept asking question after question. Seemed like coming to America did have its perks after all.

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written anything in centuries, sorrryyyyy but fuck it -q here ya go :P


End file.
